Saturday, 30 May 2015

I am insecure about by masculinity

Source.

Recently I was in a club, talking to a woman who was hot.
 
She didn’t seem to have any particular aversion to me. In fact, based on her body language, I think she might have been enjoying my company. She touched my arm a lot and laughed at things I said. She held eye contact to let me know she was interested. She was tall.

Eventually the conversation started to stagnate. We ran out of things to say to each other. That happens. Not a big deal. I left her for a while because YouTube videos I have watched on the topic of getting women to like me have said that this is a good idea. Instead of dragging out a point in conversation where things become less interesting, you leave her with a positive impression of yourself that stays on her mind for the rest of the night. And she will wait for you to come back. If you’re some sort of super stud, you can try this out on multiple women and by the end of the night have a whole collection of them longing for your dry wit and masculine musk.

In the meantime one of my friends provided me with a concise list of reasons for which 9/11 was orchestrated by the US government. I tried to keep up and occasionally interjected with my own made up conspiracy theories. Another one of my friends asked me for my opinion of his hair. It had great volume, I told him. And we agreed that modern-day club music is a shit cycle of thirty seconds of a song people recognise followed by a drop followed by a couple of minutes of generic beats for people who lack the confidence to soberly interact with one another.

Her eyes met mine from across the room a couple of times but I brushed her off to further build anticipation. Which in hindsight was a bad thing to do more than once because she probably got the impression at that point that I’d lost interest. This is obvious now because shortly after a guy with big arms approached her.

Based on his one facial expression and how much his mouth moved, I can’t imagine that any of what he said was particularly interesting. He didn’t seem to really be engaging with her. But I don’t think that mattered. Her face was much more expressive than earlier. Her eyes looked bigger. I could see that she was actually having difficulty sitting still. Her hands were around his forearm. In a similar position to where they were on mine. Only she couldn’t quite get them the whole way around this time. It seemed less spontaneous than it did earlier. Like she’d also been developing her skills of seduction via YouTube.

I felt that dull rejection feeling to a much lesser extent than I used to. I understood her perspective.
On the most basic primeval, evolutionary level, (heterosexual) women just want to be thrown the fuck around the place by a guy with big arms. And I don’t blame them. It’s Biology. My cute jokes about college students and their obsession with Haruki Murakami are great, but when a guy is going to wall fuck you until you’re gasping for air, that sort of thing loses its appeal, in contrast.

And that’s why I need to start going to the gym.

9 comments:

  1. The gym - where women try and feel good about themselves and men try and pick up those women.

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    1. The problem is I lack the necessary upper body strength to pick up those women right now. And consequently feel inadequate while standing next to a guy who can.

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  2. Women like humour above all other things. I truly believe this. Forget the gym, start going to stand-up comedy and cultivating a wry view of the world. It is possible to laugh a woman into bed.

    Mind you, should they laugh you out of it, that's a whole heap of other trouble.

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    1. Although you may be correct, I don't know if getting to the bedroom stage is as much of an issue for me as ensuring I can leave a strong and lasting impression once I get to that stage. Developing the ability to do that is my primary aspiration right now.

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  3. As a gorilla, you might think I would agree with your theory about big strong males being irresistible to females, but it obviously isn't that simple. Female apes are not attracted to bull elephants... and bull elephants are very, very big.

    I believe the hot woman would have chosen you over the big-armed bloke if she thought you were smarter, funnier and more likely to earn a six-figure income. Maybe you should have gone back to her when you had the chance.

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    1. It's not that big a deal that I messed up in executing the incredible advice that I got from YouTube. It's more an issue that another guy can be so dull but also command such attention and enthusiasm. There are no disadvantages to obtaining larger arms.

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  4. I have met and dated (once) one guy at a gym - in twelve years of being a regular. It was a little gym, and neither of us had much competition. It was a lousy date too. He was nicely toned, but not one of those guys whose forearms are wider than my waist. A woman who wants that, Fredulous Yo, don't really want any well-informed Youtube educated man anyway.

    Thing is, yeah, you want to be toned and large. But at some point, a smart woman thinks the guy is overcompensating - if you know what I mean. Biological urges taken into account, we don't want to suffocate or be squished to death for the sake of a good screw. Most of us, anyway.

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    1. I'll take all of this information into account as I continue my journey towards perfection. Thank you Robyn. You are the best.

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  5. Great post, man! I laughed at this one. I was the most insecure single guy ever. I have loads of posts that I'm now embarrassed to read all about it. I guess I really am ready to get married and stuff. You don't need mammoth arms. The girls who are just into that aren't ones you want. Just stay in good shape and meet girls who think you're funny. That's way more important than biceps. Says a funny man in good shape but with horribly skinny arms . . .

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