Monday, 29 December 2014

Mannequin

Get yours today.
I was in a clothes shop.

Fifty percent off. I wandered around for too long before realising it was exclusively women's clothing.

One of the mannequins didn't have any hands. If there was anybody with me I would have said "I'm really tired of companies like these setting such unrealistic standards for women to conform to", and then I'd point at the mannequin that has no hands.

They had baby clothes. Babies' clothing is by extension women's clothing, I learned. I stopped to look at them for a while. My brother will be a father within the next few days. His fiance's due date was yesterday. Thoughts of how different my brother's life will soon become ran through my head before quickly being eclipsed by fears that people in my vicinity might think I'm a paedophile. I walked away from the children's clothing.

I got lost and couldn't find the exit. Even though the shop wasn't that big. I rotated where I stood and scanned the room, trying not to look like I was looking at lingerie. I made eye contact with a member of staff. She gave me a look which under normal circumstances I would misconstrue as her conveying that there's a miniscule chance she might be attracted to me. Under these circumstances I interpreted it as her being suspicious of me being a paedophile and turned away. My gaze passed something which I reflexively turned back to look at a second time. A mannequin.

I was attracted to a mannequin. Not a particularly suggestive mannequin. Not a mannequin wearing lingerie. A totally unsexualised mannequin with the same kind of outfit that every mannequin in a shop like this has.

It was something about the way she carried herself. A careless elegance. If she was real she'd probably stand with her arms crossed and her pelvis jutting to one side and it would drive me crazy. The kind of woman that could make me feel masculine by leaning in to me as I put my arm around her waist.

Except she didn't have a face.

11 comments:

  1. Clothes shopping is fraught with dangers as your piece so expertly points out. This is why most of my clothes are over 3 years old.

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    Replies
    1. There is nothing more dangerous than falling in love. And no love is more dangerous than that between a man and an inanimate object.

      Delete
  2. Falling in love with replica women an old chestnut that dates back to the Pygmalion story. These days, it's old men falling in love with their sex dolls. You being a young man and the replica being a faceless mannequin does bring an original twist to the story though. Maybe you should pursue the idea and see if it leads to a film script.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. EXT. Clothes Shop - DAY

      (Sequence 0500 - Clothes Shop)
      To the unnamed clothes shop, festively adorned with christmas decorations. There are four customers and two members of staff.

      Camera's view shifts between various items of vintage women's clothing from different angles.

      FREDULOUS (V.O.)
      They say you can't choose who you fall in love with. We have no control over the forces which draw us towards one another. Every action has an equal and opposite reaction. But what happens when the person or thing you're drawn to... never reacts?

      Long shot of white faceless mannequin draped in a delicate red jacket over a black blouse with a white floral pattern. Camera zooms in, establishing close up of mannequin's head, showing it's cloche hat in greater detail.

      Delete
  3. I love it, you have all of the same insecurities as me :P

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  4. "If there was anybody with me I would have said "I'm really tired of companies like these setting such unrealistic standards for women to conform to" - That made me laugh my head off!
    I always want to have the same figure as a mannequin except I want hands. Definitely want hands. And a face like Angelina Jolie. That is all.

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    Replies
    1. Hands are useful. Good call on the having them thing.

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  5. Did you at least score her phone number, or slip yours into the nodule where her arm would be attached, if she had an arm? You've gotta get some confidence and amp up your game, Fredulous. You're likely the best possibility she's had in a very long time.

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    Replies
    1. No. I don't think I have the confidence yet to approach women that aren't real, and then request that they give me their digits. I'm working on it though.

      Delete