Wednesday, 11 June 2014

Album Art Review: Rihanna - good girl gone bad

Rihanna's third studio album good girl gone bad elevated the Barbadian to a level of stardom at which her name became familiar to guys like me, who can't actually name any of her songs or remember what she looks like other than that she has dark skin and long legs. And after carefully observing the album's artwork, I can see why.

Looking at the album's front cover we see a woman. It is Rihanna, we assume. Her back arched. This is an album that will blow you away. It will do so to such an extent that you will not be able to maintain an erect standing position. Listening will lead to severe back problems later in life.

If you look at her face you will notice that her hair obscures half of it. Rihanna clearly wants to maintain some air of mystery; we would not be physically capable of taking all of her at once. One of her eyes is obscured by the aforementioned hair. Probably some subliminal allusion to Rihanna's involvement in the Illuminati, reinforced by the triangles to be found in the upper parts of the As in the word 'RIHANNA' printed in a light blue font horizontally along the middle of the image.

The album's title is printed in white and all lower case just to the right below the word 'RIHANNA'. The font is much smaller than that used to spell out the artist's name. This isn't just a throwaway pop record to be forgotten like Kony. This record marks the arrival of Rihanna, a musical messiah. Her name needs and deserves to be seen above all else.

If we pay particular attention to the words used to title this masterpiece we notice three distinct ideas, obviously in reference to a certain Clint Eastwood film: the 'good', the 'bad' and the 'girl gone'. It seems that Rihanna equates the concept of a 'girl gone' to ugliness. Does Rihanna dislike the idea of women, or a particular woman being absent from her life? Is Rihanna subtly revealing to us in a way which won't distract from her artistic prowess that she is a lesbian?

Beneath Rihanna's visible eyelid is darkness. We are unable to see her eyeball. We are blind. This album will help us see. Even though you don't need your eyes to see it, because it is sound. This album is stunning. Equally, this could be foreshadowing from the possibly-psychic Rihanna who sees herself eventually losing sight of who she is, and choosing to pursue relationships with men who don't respect her, or her vision. And leave her with black eyes.

Is Rihanna smiling? We don't know. It is highly probable that this is left intentionally ambiguous in Rihanna's own homage to Da Vinci's Mona Lisa. Rihanna likely being very much into the arts. She is wearing one earring. Well that we can see anyway. Her hair is covering where her other would be if she was wearing one, which I doubt she is, because as Rihanna is interested in art she is also interested in making a statement. To wear two earrings would be conventional. Rihanna doesn't want to be conventional. Or symmetrical. Rihanna doesn't follow rules. Rihanna's art is not formulaic.

Rihanna's hands are overlapping approximately over her crotch. This suggests to me that Rihanna is attempting to make a physical statement regarding her chastity, directly in conflict with the title of the second track off the album, Push Up On Me. That track title is four words long. Simple mathematics will show you that her hand-crotch statement matters exactly 250 times more, because it is a picture. Similarly we see how Rihanna's upper arms act as a fortress for her bosoms, protecting them from the exploitative hands of the music industry. Rihanna does not want to be sexualised.

Behind Rihanna is a black background. Her dress is white. This is quite clearly a visual expression of Rihanna's opinion that the music industry in 2007 is in a state of creative turmoil. With these twelve tracks Rihanna will change everything. Track three: Don't Stop The Music. This is not an autobiographical tale of an occasion when Rihanna wanted for her good times not to be brought down. This is a message to the large corporations manipulating the industry that Rihanna wants to save.


  1. Love Rihanna's style! Everything, especially hers last song

    1. I decided against marking this as spam because that video needs to be seen. I'm sure based Kayne would love it too.