Thursday, 12 June 2014

5 Useless Things I Don't Want To Get Rid Of


I own too much shit.

But I don't want to get rid of it. Because I've established emotional attachments to each individual thing that I own, most of which I will never have a use for again. It's all taking up space that I would either fill with other objects I don't need, or fill with nothing and gain a greater, more tangible feeling of emptiness in my life.

My top five things that I own that I have no use for that I don't want to get rid of in no particular order are:

1. My book collection.

I don't read books more than once. I can barely motivate myself to get through them a first time. And I try to avoid books that have sequels because I can't bring myself to commit that much time to something that is made up. I have a shelf full of pages I will never look at again. They serve no purpose other than to remind me that I once looked at their contents and may or may not have enjoyed myself/been changed profoundly. They don't even make me look smart like shelves of books often do for their owners. Too many of them are novelisations of science fiction films or Manga that I've tried too hard to explain to people aren't comic books.

2. My green clock.

I have a green round clock that sits on a shelf near my bed. Its roundness made it necessary for me to position it against the wall when I put it there to prevent it from rolling and falling. I used to reflexively look it at first thing when I woke up to identify how much of my day I had already wasted and how much more of it I could afford to spend lying down. I planned to replace the battery after it died but I never got around to it. So it just sits there now, waiting for its chance to roll away. I don't want to get rid of it because it still works, and because I still have fondish memories of waking up anxiously to look at it. It was probably the closest I'll ever get to being married.

3. The mouse trap beside my desk.

I massacred a family of mice a few months ago. I scraped their remains from the wooden traps and left them all to decompose in the soil out the back, from where I believe they came. Just to be safe I set the traps again when they were all dead, in case they had vengeful cousins or were collectively a part of some mouse Mafia. I left one of them beside my desk. I accidentally set it off and couldn't be bothered to reset it. It's been there since. Partially because I don't know where to put it. I haven't yet designated a place in my home to leave mouse traps when not anticipating prey. But also because after watching the first mouse die a primeval instinct awoke inside me and assisted me in disposing of the body. I was not afraid. With each new corpse came an increased level of apathy. Which has since dwindled. And I'm now afraid to go anywhere near the traps because they once had mice touching them and probably still have parts of dead mice on them somewhere.

4. My deodorant can collection.

I am unable to bring myself to throw away deodorant cans. I can still feel fluid moving around when I shake them. And when I push the button a misty cloud still emanates. Most of the time the spray comes with a weird white powder that ruins my clothes but there's still something there that can make me smell less bad nonetheless. And deodorant is expensive. Throwing the cans away would feel like throwing money away.

5. My flip phone.

Seven years ago flip phones were popular. They have since been replaced by smart phones. Which is ironic because one of the more practical aspects to flip phones was that their screens were protected when not in use, and as cellular evolution took place phones abandoned that feature despite smart phone screens requiring more protection as their functionality extended beyond simply displaying things. It's unlikely that my flip phone will ever be even turned on again, because I can't find the charger. It will probably remain in the top drawer of my desk until the end of time. Or until I decide to use it in a The Matrix cosplay.

3 comments:

  1. Well at least you've admitted to yourself and the rest of the world that they're useless! Their power of you is beginning to slip!

    Sooner or later you'll be brave enough to let those things go - and make room in your life and space for a better version of your space, and yourself.

    I loved what you wrote. ( and you've got style, too! It was an enjoyable read).

    Now that you've written about these items, photographed them, shared them with the world, and eulogized them -you're one step closer to being able to say "these items came into my life for a time, they influenced me, I made some sort of memory and attachment to these items - they have become part of my history and now they have served their purpose, they have helped me become the person I ma today, and I am now ready to move on to new experiences and a new me, without these items having to be part of my daily life."

    There's only one thing you got wrong in your post:

    "It's all taking up space that I would either fill with other objects I don't need, or fill with nothing and gain a greater, more tangible feeling of emptiness in my life."

    You've got a false cognition about the nature of your space and yourself.

    You have told yourself that you are incapable of NOT filling it up with other useless junk. Deep down you know that's not true- but you're telling yourself that you are incapable to resist the urge. Stop feeding yourself lies about what you can and can't do.

    Once you're free of these current items, you can resist the urge to fill your space back up with useless junk, and you can fill your time and space with useful, beautiful, functional moments, people, experiences (and maybe a few things too).

    The alternative to junk is not "more junk or "emptiness" - the alternative to junk is friggin' LIFE. That dreaded emptiness that you feel when you let an item go, it hurts -yes -- but it only lasts a moment.

    If you resist the urge to immediately replace that item with another crutch -if you resist the urge to fill the void with material goods, your brain will naturally force itself to fill the void in another, healthier way. You'll find that that the emptiness subsides, leaving you a whole, more complete, stronger individual --

    Letting useless things go doesn't make you permanently emptier -- it simply forces you to increase the size of your own strength and personality to fill the void the items left.

    Once that void is filled by *you* instead of *junk*, then you become a bigger, more complete person, independent of the items that you were previously using to define and secure your identity.

    Sorry for waxing philosophical. I'm just inspired by what you wrote here. Maybe I needed to write this reply more for myself than for you! (haha)

    Either way -- thanks for your words. Keep writing and keep decluttering!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank YOU for YOUR words. Seriously. This comment is ridiculous. But in the best way. You've given me some things to think about. And for that I am very thankful.

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  2. "So it just sits there now, waiting for its chance to roll away. I don't want to get rid of it because it still works, and because I still have fondish memories of waking up anxiously to look at it. It was probably the closest I'll ever get to being married."

    Love this.

    ReplyDelete